Funny Childrens Books (just a joke!)

Please do not read if you are easily offended. I am a christian but though this was hilarious ....I also am a mommy but still thought this was funny!!!

GREAT CHILDREN'S BOOKS
that have never been published. Duh!

Here is a list of kid's books that the publishers rejected. We rescued them from the slush pile at the office of Simon and Shooters.

You Are Different and That's Bad


The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables


Dad's New Wife Robert


Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share, by Helen Back


Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book


The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking


Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her


Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence


All Cats Go to Hell


The Little Sissy Who Snitched


Some Kittens Can Fly


That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption


Grandpa Gets a Casket


The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator


Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia


The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy


Strangers Have the Best Candy


Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way


You Were an Accident


Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will


Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games


The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan


Your Nightmares Are Real


Where Would You Like to Be Buried?


Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School


Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?


Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things


Daddy Drinks Because You Cry


and my personal favorite:

What Briuses Do When You Poke Them With Your Finger

OK so not much to write about ....We had a great Thanksgiving in Atlantic City with Alberto's sister and her boyfriend. Sofia decided to wake up and cry as soon as mommy wanted to sit down and eat...LOL...but i think that happens at every meal since she was born . Anyways here are a couple video clips & pics of my little mama!!!

Hanging out after bathtime

Sofia in her Thanksgiving outfit from Puerto Rico

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Another Day

Well I've come to the realization that my sewing machine wish just won't come true. My fiance seems to think i have no where to put it ....and that i should be spending every waking hour taking care of Sofia. While he is right....she does have priority.......how can he tell me what else i should do in the small amount of free time I have. I guess i will just have to go get it myself.

Some of you who know me know that this year my house was broken into and they stole a diamond necklace that he bought me for x-mas last year. Well he keeps mentioning that he wants to replace it so i think that is what I am getting for x-mas.......and while i love style and diamonds are great and all.....they are not always a girl's best friend. I mean c/mon....who wants to wear an expensive necklace every day with the risk of something happening to it (plus it doesnt go with everything....I wish sometimes my fiance could realize that he doesnt have to prove his love with money to me. Simple things from the heart are much better. ....I mean.....I would be happy with a necklace made of seashells for god sakes!



Only $74.99 at WalMart!!!! A much better deal than a $2000 necklace if you ask me!

On another note Thanksgiving is a few days away and I am getting very anxious. We are heading down to Atlantic City to be with Alberto's sister and her boyfriend. This is her first year on the East Coast since moving from CA.....and she wants to cook her man some traditional Puerto Rican food. The problem is that she doesnt know how. So we have been suckered into to getting up at 5 am to leave by 6 to arrive in AC by 8 and put the food on by 10......how exhausting!!!! Not to mention that the main course of Pernil/Lechon (Pork Shoudler) has run out at all of our local grocer's ....hmmmmmmmm what is a Super Mom to do ........



.........I'll tell ya what she is going to do. After work she is going to celebrate the upcoming holiday by giving thanks to the Captain ....Captain Morgan and his beloved Rum that is!!!!

8 Random Things About Erica (erlafontaine)I've never done this before but i was tagged by my friend Heather. sooooooooooooo I have to keep this game going :)

Ok, here's the game plan. There are a few rules one must follow to play the game. When tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list eight random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to eight other people.So, here are 8 random things about me.

1. I am Panamanian/Spanish/French but have never visited anyone of those countries

2. I love traveling but have never had the opportunity to leave the United States ....except Puerto Rico but i guess that really doesnt count since is part of the USA :)

3. I have 2 brother and no sisters

4. I love love love animals and when i was in high school i had 2 iguanas, 3 african clawed frogs, i dog, 2 cats & and 1 bird

5. My secret dream is to be a famous fashion designer.....but realistically would like to go back to school for zoology or Vet Studies

6. LOVE LOVE LOVE the NY Yankees

7. I am a first time mommy to Sofia who is 2 months and have 2 stepshildren....Suehalie who is 12 and Alberto who is 8

8. I was a total nerd in High School ....well i guess not really nerdy but i used to get teased for being smart ...LOL

Now I have to tag eight other bloggers to share about themselves. So, the following people are tagged! I know some of you have already been tagged so youdont have to post again ....I just dont know that many bloggers to play

1. Kelly

2. Susan

3. Anelys

4. Jennifer

5. Meaghan

Christmas List

Hey Kelly if you are reading this .....you inspired me LOL.....I decided to jot down my x-mas list .....To everyone else I hope you don't think me greedy.....Some of the things on my list aren't realistic...just wishes :)

1. A Sewing Machine and/or Overlock Machine - so i can get back to my love of sewing !!!!

2. A Sandwich Maker...lol i love these machines only because they seal the edges and toast sandwiches really quick!!




3. A trip to a day Spa....it doesnt even need to be the works...I'll settle for a massage or facial alone....plus the time to myself would be nice!

4. A new car......but we are getting one after new years with our income tax hopefully.....I just hop this old '96 Cutlass makes it to New Years!

5. This Balenciaga Bag!!!! I know I know ....its expensive and i would never buy this for myself but.....on the flip side its originally over $1000 so i think it's a steal! But I know that it still probably wont happen :)



Balenciaga Medium Motorcycle Bag Anis Green BL023$299.00

6. A weekend at Foxwoods Hotel & Casino with my honey Alberto V. !!! We love this place....its a great romantic getaway....plus the all you can eat lobster buffet only about mile away is a bonus too !!!!

7. Most of all Im hope my stepson Alberto and Stepdaughter Suehalie will get to spend some time with us since they both live in other states. This will be Sofia's first x-mas and it would be nice to see her with her brother and sister :)

Britney!

OK so nothing very exciting to write about today so i though i would leave you with a little something from my favorite gossip guy Perez Hilton

Britney Addicted To Lipo!
Filed under: Britney Spears > Knifestyles
She’s at it again!




After dropping off the kids with K-Fed, the trainwreck that is Britney Spears took a weekend getaway to Las Vegas, where she paid a visit to the LipoDissolve Center, OK! magazine is reporting.


This is not the first time Brit Brit has visited the LipoDissolve Center. She was caught there in April for PCDC treatments - injections of a soybean derivative into the body’s fatty areas. The procedure is said to dissolve fat cells in a matter of weeks.


Doesn’t Unfitney have more important things to worry about than her cellulite??? You know, like her two kids!!!

All I have to say is AMEN PEREZ!!!! - Erica

X-mas is Coming !!!

Well I have been super super busy lately and stressed and I realized I need a hobby even if just for 10 mins per day some thing to relieve my mind. I decided to go back to my love of sewing. I really really do have a passion for fashion but long ago came to the realization that i would never be a famous designer or even go to school for this....especially with a baby! BBBBBUUUUUTTTT....I can still satisfy my need by sewing ...especially now with my daughter i have a little model.

The only problem is that I do not have a sewing machine..........soooooooo.....I need to find a way to hint that i want this for christmas. I have never been one to come out and ask for something like this but since Alberto has hinted that he wants a Blue Ray movie player or a Playstation 3.....I need to come up with some clever ideas to drop some hints!!! Any ideas?!?!?!?1

Rough Weekend!!!

Wow what a long stressful weekend.....

Saturday we had plans to attend a baby shower in Allentown, PA about 1 1/2 hrs. away for Alberto's Nephew and his girlfriend. Well I had a very long uncomfortable doctors appointment that morning that i was late for so i was already in a bad mood. Alberto came with me to watch the baby while i was with the doctor so no one was at our home. When we got home there were like 10 messages on our machine threatening our family ....(from his older daughter's stepfather). some of you may know that there has been no communication with his daughter since shse was 6 (she is 12 now) because her mother never allowed him that chance. Even though Alberto should have persued it more in court it was too much drama for him (long story)....Anyways he recently got in touch with her again and got to see her a couple of weeks ago. He did explain that he would take it slow as not to overwhelm her. But he would also be going to court to make sure his visitation right are known to her. Well they just got served the court papers and called our house. This man was cursing threatening to come to my home to kill Alberto saying he was a bad father (even though he pays child support and they are the ones who kept him away). So Alberto and his bad temper call them and it turns in to a threat and screaming match over the phone. Frankly I am scared for the safety of my baby and Alberto as well. I also think both sides are being ridiculous and are going to make things worse for the chiild in the middle. Seeing both of her fathers fight eachother is not going to solve anything! So the whole way to the baby shower they were yelling at eachother over the phone.

We finally get there and ALberto is so upset he starts having a few drinks and before i know it he is a little tipsy. After the shower we go to his nephews house to watch the boxing match. This didnt come on till 11. At about 10 pm .....all the guys come tell me to go outside and i see Alberto in pain. Apparently he was on a trampoline and when he juped off he slipped on leaves and broke his leg!

So I had to drive him back to NJ to go to the hospital. We get there and they registered him at 1:30...by this time I am delirious and falling asleep. I left him there so i could take the baby home. He calls me at 3 am to come get him......i had just fallen asleep and got the baby to eat and sleep. Maybe this was mean but i told him to take a cab home because i could wake her and put in the car again ....besides that i had to park so far away because unauthorized people parked in our spots......I wasnt even gonna walk that far again with the carseat.

So he gets home around 4 am .......i help him to bed......then the baby wakes and wants to eat again .......so i feed her and get her sleeping again ....As soon as i get in bed he is crying in pain again and i had to get up to help him. We finally fo to sleep and he wakes me up a couple hrs later and tells me to go to the pharmacy for his prescription. Once i get there they supposedly dont have his RX card on file so i had to pay full price for the medicine (and get reimbursed later)......when i get home the baby is up wanting more food ....needless to say i decide to give up on sleep cuz i know i just aint gonna happen !!!! LOL!!!

All day i cook,clean, feed the baby, take care of him ....over and over.....finally i decide to go to sleep and he tells me we have to drop off a rental car!!!! I have no one to come with me but him.....he is not supposed to be driving....he decided he could drive with his left foot instead!!!!

OK enough of my rambling basically i finally got to bed at 11 pm ....only to be awakened night by a hungry baby and hurt hubby.....and i wake at 5 am to take baby to sitter and go to work ......I need another weekend...to recover from the weekend...LOL!!

My Daughter's Eyes

Last night I had a bit of a disagreement with my fiance. Many people don't know but my daughter Sofia has 2 different color eyes. Her left (my right) eye is brown on the top half and blue on the bottom. The pediatrician has assured me its just the pigmentation and no health concerns to worry about. I think its beautiful and rare!

My fiance seems to think otherwise. I feel like he is embarrassed about our daughter. When i first showed it to him and yelled at me like I somehow caused this or like I was making fun of her. I think its unique but he says that if I point it out to people they will think she is a freak or that something is wrong with her. He actually said that people may think her parents did drugs or something!

I am offended that he feels so shameful and embarrassed about our baby girl. He told me never to bring it up again. Am I right or wrong for being upset about this??? She is my first child so of course I am going to brag about her. Maybe I am the one overreacting. Maybe he is just trying to protect her from the evil thoughts of narrowminded people.

As for now I think he is the narrowminded idiot!

Back to Work

Ok so this past tuesday i returned to work from maternity leave and I am less than thrilled to be here. Maybe its the overwhelming feeling of emptiness not see my baby girl all day, the feelings of guilt leaving her with someone else, or sense of not knowing if she is sad, hungry, lonely.....i could go on and on.

Not to mention and the changes that happened at my job during the 2 months i was gone. They just threw me back into the Lions Den without the chance to get acclimated again!

At least I will be getting a Paycheck...LOL....which will probably all go to daycare, diapers, babyfood, gas, groceries, doctors......you name it! Come to think of it......I might as well save some money....BY QUITTING MY JOB AND GOING BACK HOME!

Let me introduce myself

My name is Erica & I am 24 y/o. I am Panamanian/Spanish/French & I currently live in NJ with my fiance Alberto who is Puerto Rican. We just had our first child Sofia Marina on 9/11/07. I also have 2 beautiful stepchildren, Suehalie Maritza who is 12 and Alberto Rene who is 8.

Me and Sofia

Suehalie, Alberto & Sofia

Baby Sofia

I currently work for ATT Mobility in their International Customer Service/Tech Support Department. I would love to go back to school for Zoology or Veterinary Studies but being as I am adjusting to motherhood .....it looks like that plan may be in the distant future. My other passion is fashion. I love to sew and have always loved design.......That would be my dream to attend fashion design school in NYC but very unrealistic......I think I just have to keep that dream as a hobby. As for now I am loving my life and enjoying my family. Wedding plans are also on hold .....that big beautiful wedding somehow doesnt seem so important now. Instead we plan to head down to the courthouse and maybe do a small ceremony in our church on weekend. Who knows?!?!?!

We also plan on moving in the next few years and purchasing a home. Apartment living just isnt cutting it anymore but house prices in NJ are astronomical. We haven's really decided on where we are headed but somewhere warmer would definitely be nice.

Anyways that is a little about myself ....I'm just getting the hang of this blogging thing so hopefully I will soon be posting alot more